She was attentive but she was worried about nursing things nothing about my psychological well being or comfort. I thought to myself often during that labor why isn't the nurse telling me to switch positions or suggesting a better position? She spent her time digging the monitor into my stomach or just checking on my blood pressure or my pain level and then leaving. I saw the need for a Doula without really even knowing it.
I hired my Doula this time at around 10 weeks pregnant. She is a colleague and confidante, someone who I respect in the business very much. I don't expect her to take over for my husband nor does he but I know he is going to be happy for a little bit of relief.
One of the explanations I give to help expectant parents is that a doula is all the information you learn in childbirth class (and don't underestimate taking a childbirth class!) packaged up in a warm and caring yet unbiased individual!
Do I wish I had a doula for my first birth? Yes, but for many reasons I am glad that I did not. Not having a doula drove me to become one. Not having a doula gave me a better understanding of what a doula can do. And in some ways not having the ideal birth makes me understand the disappointment some women experience in their births.